


Domestic Bliss? Bah Humbug!

by torino10154



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anal Sex, Ficlet, Humor, Light Bondage, M/M, Shower Sex, Slash, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-11
Updated: 2014-01-11
Packaged: 2018-01-08 08:39:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1130553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/torino10154/pseuds/torino10154
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His favourite part of hanging in the Potter-Malfoy sitting room was how often the two men mistook it for their bedroom.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Domestic Bliss? Bah Humbug!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [birdsofshore](https://archiveofourown.org/users/birdsofshore/gifts).



> Written for [Mini_Fest](http://mini-fest.livejournal.com/). Thank you to [sdkshelly](http://sdkshelly.livejournal.com/) and [tamlane](http://tamlane.livejournal.com/) for the beta. <3 
> 
> It's a bit of an in joke that [birdsofshore](http://birdsofshore.livejournal.com/) would appreciate. *giggles*

Severus scowled at the green and red lights twinkling on the Christmas tree. And the gold and silver garlands. And the Weasley knitted stockings hanging from the mantel. 

Every bit of the décor positively reeked of domestic bliss. 

Severus had to admit that shagging the Saviour brought Draco a different sort of cachet than Slytherins were accustomed to. He actually seemed happy. 

Still, seeing the two on Christmas morning, hair on end, stars in their eyes as they opened their gifts, made Severus wish he could brew an anti-nausea draught. 

Thank Merlin Draco didn't buy Potter a Crup. That would have killed him.

Again.

His favourite part of hanging in the Potter-Malfoy sitting room was how often the two men mistook it for their bedroom. 

When sweet nothings turned to snogging and groping, Severus feigned sleep, though his hand slipped inside his robes to better enjoy the proceedings.

How they managed to knock over the tree was still a mystery. Surely it was Potter's fault; that Draco was the one with a string of fairy lights binding his ankles notwithstanding.

After cleaning himself up, Severus dozed properly. He'd never believed the portraits at Hogwarts were sleeping, but even at times when he wanted to eavesdrop, he found himself overcome by drowsiness.

When next he awoke, it was to see Draco brushing a crumb from Potter's lip with his thumb.

"Honestly," he said, voice filled with distain. 

It was Potter who turned toward him, smiling wide. "Professor! Happy Christmas."

Severus had to bite his tongue to prevent himself from saying "Bah humbug" in return.

"Are you not expected at the Manor?" he asked Draco.

"I told Mother we had plans." He gave Potter a suggestive smile before continuing. "We're stopping in on Boxing Day."

"We have a gift for you, Professor." Potter bent down to reach for the gift and Severus took a moment to admire his rather stunning assets. Draco mouthed the word "pervert" in Severus's direction when he noticed Severus looking. Severus merely smirked.

Potter pulled a large, flat item from beneath the tree. "We thought perhaps you were a bit lonely being the only full-sized portrait in the house, and a change of scenery is nice from time to time, yeah?"

Severus hoped they hadn't been foolish enough to find a portrait of his mother or, worse yet, Dumbledore.

"Did you have anything to do with this, Draco?" Severus gestured towards the wrapped gift.

"It was entirely Harry's idea, sir. He's always thinking of others." The smile on Draco's face did nothing to comfort Severus at all.

"Very well." 

With child-like joy, Potter tore the paper and held up the painting for Severus.

"Well? Do you like it?" he asked, peeking over the top of the frame.

Severus stared, unable to believe what he was seeing.

"He's speechless, Harry," Draco said, nudging Potter. "He loves it, I can tell. Let's allow them to get acquainted and we'll have a bath."

"Together?" Potter asked, eyes flashing wickedly as he took Draco's hand. "Mmm, I do love making sure you're clean all over."

"Draco..." Severus said in his best professor voice, but it appeared the promise of Potter's arse was too tempting because in mere moments the two of them had headed for the stairs, leaving Severus with the twinkling fairy lights and his new [companion](http://i121.photobucket.com/albums/o227/PAM2002/MerryChristmasSeverus_zps7c12e50e.gif). 

Perhaps Albus Dumbledore, in all his garish glory, would have been a better option after all. Never in his life had Severus seen such a monstrosity. He didn't know what was worse, the Father Christmas hat or the permanently falling snow, but as soon as the man opened his mouth it became crystal clear.

"So, Severus, is it?" the man in the portrait said, "[How in the name of Zeus's butt-hole did you get out of your cell?](http://youtu.be/U0-mGNSrnh0)"

" _Silencio!_ " Severus shouted.

He was going to kill Draco and Potter. Perhaps after he watched them fuck again, though. 

Severus left his sitting room portrait and made his way to the miniature landscape in the bathroom, hiding behind a small tree. He was not disappointed to find Potter pressed against the tiles, Draco's hips snapping forward.

Licking his lips, Severus whispered, "Happy Christmas to me."


End file.
